There were two unmarried sisters who had such a bitter fight that they stopped speaking to each other. Unable or unwilling to leave their small home, they continued to use the same rooms and sleep in the same bedroom. A chalk line divided the sleeping area into two halves. The chalk divided rooms so that both sisters could come and go and get her own meals without trespassing on her sister's space. In the black of night, each could hear the breathing and snoring of the foe. For years they coexisted in grinding silence. Neither was willing to take the first step to reconciliation.
Then one night one sister got up to go to the bathroom and fell, breaking her hip. The other sister, awakened by the fall and the scream of pain, jumped out of bed crossed the chalk line and came to her sister's side. After a few "typical" sister jabs at why she would do such a foolish thing as trip on her own feet, the sister held her foe of the past few years until the paramedics came and carried her to the hospital with her sister at her side. In those moments of darkness came the truth and power of love and light.

Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall told this story with these words. "The legal system can force open doors, and sometimes even knock down walls, but it cannot build bridges. That job belongs to you and me."
Reconciliation is tough. There is a reason that people become divided. Perhaps a person said something which he shouldn’t have said. Or perhaps an argument ensued over a misunderstanding. Regardless of the backstory, reconciliation belongs to you and me. Intentional steps have to be taken. Regarding reconciliation after a conflict, some will say, "Just give it time," which should only be part of the strategy. "Just give it time," isn’t the only thing to do. There is certainly wisdom in allowing tempers to cool before discussing a conflict, but time alone does not provide the restoration.

Bridge building involves many tools; perhaps time is one of them. With much discussion of our Commonwealth’s transportation problem, I would be uncomfortable traveling on a new bridge across the James River which only took a month to build. Bridge building takes time. Reconciliation, bridge building, is difficult; if it were not so difficult, we would already have another bridge/tunnel connecting the Peninsula to the south side.

Reconciliation is not automatic with the passing of time. If that were the case, Jesus would have never died on the cross. If being reconciled to God only involved time, there would have been no reason for Jesus to come to earth. Jesus’ death answers the question, "How can a Holy God have a relationship with sinful humanity?" Jesus provided that bridge.

Reconciliation is not about winning or losing. If there is an argument or someone gets hurt because of another’s action, restoration of the relationship rarely comes because one person confronts with a pointing finger indicating the wrong-doing of another. Rather than winning or losing, reconciliation is more about offering a win-win situation. If I have a conflict with someone and want restoration, I should be more concerned with the future than the past. I will have to focus on how we can agree to disagree and focus more on what we have in common than on what we differ.

In his second letter to the church at Corinth, Paul wrote that you and I have been given the ministry of reconciliation. First, we are to be reconciled to God. How can we be reconciled to God if we still harbor ill will toward others? Bridge building becomes an act of Christian commitment.

Paul wrote of being a "new creation," and that the "old ways have become new." If anyone is in Christ, they are choosing a new way, and we have a choice of how to live. The old way of looking at relationship is retaliation and retribution: he hit me so I’ll hit him back. She said something bad about me so I’ll say something bad about her. That is the old way. Our word "archaic" comes from the Greek word meaning "old way." But as new creatures, ones who have received the grace of God, we are being asked to lay aside that old way, the archaic way of relationship. That is what God has done for us. Because we have been united with the Messiah, because we have claimed the label Christian, we have become new creations. We are to allow the love of God to govern what we do. Just as God continues to create, we become new all over again. When we ask for forgiveness, we are granted a clean slate; therefore, we are a new creation. Old things are passed away, and all things have become new.

The word "reconciliation" actually means "two things, which were separated and apart, have been brought back together." One image of reconciliation is that God was in Christ hugging the world to Godself. And that is what we are to be doing. If we represent Christ, if we are ambassadors for Christ, then we are to be "bridge-building people."

What does one have to do for reconciliation to happen? A first step has to occur; someone has to take the initiative. Someone has to make the first move. It shouldn’t matter if we are the offender or the offendee; it should not matter if someone has hurt us or if we have hurt someone. Taking the first step is uncomfortable, and perhaps finding the courage for the first step is half the battle. In building a bridge, someone has to do something to start the process.

But what if an effort at reconciliation is rejected? What if in taking that first step, the person being approached is not received? Let’s think in terms of percentages: healthy relationships are 50-50. One person cannot do 100% of the work in a relationship; if so, "infatuation’ would be a better term than "relationship." When one person does more than 50% of the work in a relationship, that person is over-functioning, meaning that person is doing some of the work for the other person. At that point, we rob the other person of participation. If we are doing more in a relationship than the other person, we are lessening their opportunity for a fulfilling friendship. Functioning as an individual isn’t always easy. It is often easier to try to do more than our share, in hopes of making it easier. That is how relationships become "out of balance."

Does God do more than 50%? "Jesus paid it all; all to him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain; he washed it white as snow." While God paid it all by sending Jesus into the world "to be sin for us," to use Paul’s wording, we still have to do our part. As indicated by the reading from Psalm 32, when we confess our sins, God will forgive our guilt. We still have to say "yes" when called; we still have to receive the grace extended to us. If this free gift of salvation is rejected or not accepted, God is grieved, because faith is voluntary. God cannot be forced onto anyone, and we cannot force ourselves onto another person, nor can we force reconciliation. I’ve got to think that through the ages God’s heart has been broken by the attempts of God’s people to coerce someone into a salvation-type decision. Saying "Believe or die" at knife-point isn’t what God had in mind when sending Jesus to be our bridge.

While the term "evangelism" is often derided and has been jaded by some, I still believe that individuals and churches should practice evangelism. We have to share the good news of a loving God with others, and we have to practice it. By doing so, we join Christ in the ministry of reconciliation.

Again, we are called to be bridge builders. That doesn’t mean that we are doormats, allowing someone to run over us; some may see a person who takes the first step toward reconciliation as being weak; I prefer to think that person is courageous. Reconciliation with God also doesn’t mean that we should beat someone over the head with a King James Version Bible. These attempts are ineffective at bridge-building. Reconciliation does mean that we do what we can to restore relationships.

With whom do you need to reconcile? With whom have you had a conflict that has never been resolved? You may never agree with that person about what happened or about why it happened. Reconciliation is not so much about righting wrongs or casting blame as it is about restoration of relationship.

The Bible never speaks of God being reconciled to humanity, but always of humanity being reconciled to God. The whole process of salvation takes its beginning in God. God’s message, the message which Paul brought, is an appeal from a loving Father (as in today’s passage from Luke) to wandering and estranged children to come home where love is waiting for them. So, to use Paul’s words, "if anyone is in Christ," we are to be choosing this new way of reconciliation, this ministry of bridge-building.

The Christian life is all about relationships. We express our love and commitment to God by how we treat others. During Lent, we are taking serious inventories of how we are living. When has someone said or done something hurtful to you? Those instances are easy to recall. What have you done to restore that relationship? That is much more difficult. What first step have you taken? God sent Jesus as a bridge builder for us. With whom do you need to build a bridge and what is stopping you from taking the first step? Aren’t you glad that God did not wait to send Jesus to be our bridge builder? Personally, I have some phone calls to make to take the first step. What are we waiting for? As Christians, the job of bridge building belongs to you and me.